Back in California

Great trip to Portland and I have now returned to both California and a life of quiet, suburban desperation. Not that I don’t have anything to do. I do. I do! First order of business is the rewrite of “Wild Space A Go Go.” I spent a better part of a day going through video with a copy of the script, cutting dialogue, that did not move the story forward and jokes that simply did not move - period. Ah, my sweet baby is going under the knife yet again. Don’t worry too much, I think the story will survive. It is all a matter of summoning up enough energy to reach into my knapsack, pull out the folder and lay it on the table. I will take a sip of coffee and decide. Nope. Not yet.

The certified letter has been sent to the so-called producer of “The Touristers.” It will be interesting to see what happens when he receives it. If he does not send a gangsta rapper, most likely named Cool Nutz, to bust a cap in my ass, I should be fine. Just so you know, the above scenario was courtesy of my friend Glenn Holmes, who does have a flair for the dramatically humorous. The odds of “so-called” to come up with the money to secure the option of the screenplay for another six months are frankly just too astronomical to even consider. So, I will do what all 21^st heroic figures do, remove “so-called” as a friend on Facebook and block him from the “Fans of The Touristers” site. As far as I know, I have no friend on FB named Cool Nutz.

Speaking of “so-called” Producers, I did hear a story that is worth sharing. All of the names have been changed to protect the innocent and, frankly I can’t remember the name of the producer. But this story is a dilly.

A writer acquaintance had a female writing partner while in LA. They pitched a story to a producer of some renown. An agreement was struck and soon the meetings and story notes flowed. What became obvious to the male writing partner, was the notes seemed to be all sexual and all directed at the female writing partner. Important notes too! Notes that couldn’t help but move the story forward to an exciting climax. Climax? Did I just say that? Must be this story. These producer notes were like, and I am paraphrasing here as I have the memory of a 57 year old, “you know what this story needs, a little girl on girl action.” Or, “the female protagonist really should get it on with an older, married man. I think she would like it.” I guess the meetings came to an abrupt end when the producer suggested an orgy scene. And the moral of this story, boys and girls, this executive was at Disney! Just kidding. He was not at Disney. It was Nickelodeon. No. Not there either. I just couldn’t resist. I wish I could tell you that the writers are still together and that the female writer told the producer to go fuck himself. I am just not entirely sure. After all, this is Hollywood. I will have to ask Cool Nutz if he knows anything about this.